By the way, heard there was a terrible F1 accident......check this out.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Terrible F1 Accident
I'm into cars, sports car to be specific. But I guess when it comes to racing competitively, I'm definitely not a true blue fan of the F1 race that will be kicking off in Singapore on Sep 28. Good luck to the racers this weekend!
By the way, heard there was a terrible F1 accident......check this out.
By the way, heard there was a terrible F1 accident......check this out.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Brillant Mature lady driver
A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Mature Ladies!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Beautiful Day
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.
A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'
The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way..' What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'
Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?
Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.
Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.
Great men say, 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness…. In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.'
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling…
And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!
A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'
The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way..' What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'
Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?
Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.
Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.
Great men say, 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness…. In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.'
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling…
And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Another personal best...
I took part in the annual Singapore Bay Run - re-branded as the SAFRA Singapore Bay Run & Army Half Marathon on Aug 24th for some mass run fun and to tour around the Bay area.
Another personal achievement of mine this year as I clocked 1 hour and 6 mins under the 10km non-competitive.
Recovering from jello legs now.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I was swept off my feet
Last evening, my gf and I were waiting for the train back home after our gym session when she raised a question out of the blue, 'Lilian, have you ever experienced love at first sight?' And it kept me pondering for the whole night.
I guess if one haven’t experienced it personally, he/she probably won't believe that Love at First Sight is real. Can one really fall in love with someone the first moment you see them or was it purely just lust or infatuation? How do we tell it is Love @ first sight?
I remembered a few years back, I met someone who literally swept me off my feet. There I was sitting in the room, waiting for the person (let's call him X) whom I was supposed to meet. I was flippng through some brochures in that tiny room and adjusting my jacket and making sure my hair was in order and not flustered when there came a knock on the door. This was followed by X walking in.
The moment X walked into the room, I was memerised by him. Everything about him from his blue neatly pressed long sleeved shirt (I'm surprised I still remember the colour of his shirt until now) which was a perfect match with the tie he wore, his tanned complexion coupled with that bright smile on his face and yes, that broad shoulders of his totally charmed me away. Or should I said, 'Swept me off my feet'.
Throughout the whole conversation, I tried to stay focus on my objective of my visit, but I guess X could sense that there was something there in the air about my uneasiness. Nevertheless, X made me felt comfortable and at ease with our chat, cracking up some jokes along the way to help ease out the tension in me. Yeah, at that moment, I was clearly enjoying every second and minute of my conversation with X and tried to catch a glimpse of his smile every few seconds. I was certain that there was something there - instant chemistry between the both of us.
Although after that meeting, X and I did manage to keep in contact, however, that feeling was very different from the first time we've met. I guess to me, it's almost a self-fulfilling prophecy. As human beings, we make a prediction about what kind of relationship we could have with a person and that helps determine how much effort we are willing to put into developing a relationship. And I guess neither of us made the extra effort to develop this relationship and after sometime, the chemical reaction dissolved and we remained as friends till today with the occassionally SMS.
Recalling back my experience of 'being swept off my feet', I wonder does that equate to love @ first sight too?
I guess if one haven’t experienced it personally, he/she probably won't believe that Love at First Sight is real. Can one really fall in love with someone the first moment you see them or was it purely just lust or infatuation? How do we tell it is Love @ first sight?
I remembered a few years back, I met someone who literally swept me off my feet. There I was sitting in the room, waiting for the person (let's call him X) whom I was supposed to meet. I was flippng through some brochures in that tiny room and adjusting my jacket and making sure my hair was in order and not flustered when there came a knock on the door. This was followed by X walking in.
The moment X walked into the room, I was memerised by him. Everything about him from his blue neatly pressed long sleeved shirt (I'm surprised I still remember the colour of his shirt until now) which was a perfect match with the tie he wore, his tanned complexion coupled with that bright smile on his face and yes, that broad shoulders of his totally charmed me away. Or should I said, 'Swept me off my feet'.
Throughout the whole conversation, I tried to stay focus on my objective of my visit, but I guess X could sense that there was something there in the air about my uneasiness. Nevertheless, X made me felt comfortable and at ease with our chat, cracking up some jokes along the way to help ease out the tension in me. Yeah, at that moment, I was clearly enjoying every second and minute of my conversation with X and tried to catch a glimpse of his smile every few seconds. I was certain that there was something there - instant chemistry between the both of us.
Although after that meeting, X and I did manage to keep in contact, however, that feeling was very different from the first time we've met. I guess to me, it's almost a self-fulfilling prophecy. As human beings, we make a prediction about what kind of relationship we could have with a person and that helps determine how much effort we are willing to put into developing a relationship. And I guess neither of us made the extra effort to develop this relationship and after sometime, the chemical reaction dissolved and we remained as friends till today with the occassionally SMS.
Recalling back my experience of 'being swept off my feet', I wonder does that equate to love @ first sight too?
Life and How to Survive It
An inspiring speech by Adrian Tan , a writer and a lawyer. Some of you may remember his book Teenage Textbook. I was told that this was a speech he gave to the students of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communications.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
陳奕迅
I'm now a fan of Eason Chan after listening to his songs over and over again while on the 7 hours flight from Dubai back to Singapore.
Here are 2 of my favourite tunes
1. 陳奕迅 你的背包
2. 陳奕迅 十年
3. 陳奕迅 - 好久不見MV
4. 愛情轉移
Here are 2 of my favourite tunes
1. 陳奕迅 你的背包
2. 陳奕迅 十年
3. 陳奕迅 - 好久不見MV
4. 愛情轉移
It's good to be back
It's been a long while since I sat down seriously and whip out a lengthy tabloid version of my life....or was it just a last couple of months? :)
Amazing trip: I got back last week after a 3.5 days team offsite meeting in the scorching hot Dubai. Apart from the day to day intensive meetings and technical information drilling which my spongy head was trying very hard to absorb, I've managed to squeeze in some time to play a game of beach volleyball at the Jumeriah beach resort, rode on a camel (YES!!!); got a temporary tattoo (don't let my mum see that and you got to see the tattoo Howard did - it was hilarious! Get him to tell you what 'design' he got); took a shopping stroll at Dubai's souk market (not Zouk- no spelling mistake here), sat in a boat which took me to see the night lights of Souk, had some pictures taken with the lovely 7 star hotel as the background (visitors not allowed to enter) and yes, visited the Dubai museum and basking in the sunny weather everyday.
I ate like a whale too when I came back from Dubai. I was stuffed with my nasi lemak, char kway teow, horfun, mee rebus....yummy and smacking my lips. Sinful, yet great food for the whole week, tonnes of calories and high cholesterol which I horrendously loved and yes, who cares!
It feels good to be back in my motherland again. Brillant!
It's All in the Food!
Interesting article - I've personally experienced this PLS (post lunch syndrome) before. So, think twice before you consume your next plate of chicken rice or pasta.
Work Gives Life Meaning?
Interesting read from a June 29 Sunday's Straits Times. I don't think I feel the same way as Sumiko for now...but who knows..one day, I might find the meaning to work too.
=============
June 29, 2008
Work gives life meaning
Life would be awful if I didn't have to work. Yes, I
live to work rather than work to live
By Sumiko Tan
A friend recently shocked everyone by quitting his
high-flying job to embark on a fresh start in another
industry.
Another friend is thinking of a career switch. He puts
in very high-tempo 15-hour days in the office and
still has to take documents home to read. He's sick of
the frenetic pace.
Next month, a colleague will be giving up her job to
work just three days a week. Her son has turned one
and she wants to be there to see him grow.
Yet another colleague is planning for the day his son
enters Primary 1. Either he or his wife would want to
retire then, to be around to guide the boy. As she
earns more than he does, he might be the one to call
it quits.
Unless you are a student, retiree or housewife, so
much of a person's life centres on that concept called
work - where to work, what sort of work, are you happy
at work, should you work?
The workplace has long become more than just a place
you check into five days a week to fulfil some form of
labour for which you are paid at the end of the month.
A colleague put it aptly: Work is a creche for adults,
providing structure, stimulation and sustenance.
Here is also where you find friendship, companionship
and love even, and you can be guaranteed it's among
like-minded people. After all, you are similar enough
to seek a job in the same area of interest.
So many of my friends found their mates either at the
office or through work.
Who needs dating agencies when you can lock eyes and
check the other person out across the conference
table? Who needs speed dating when there are as many
potential dates to consider as there are cubicles (of
single people, of course) in the office?
When I was on leave recently, the first week stretched
gloriously ahead. I felt free from the endless e-mail,
irritating phone calls and petty politics that are, of
course, also a part of the modern workplace.
Time was mine to fritter away as I hung out with my
family and friends, went shopping and had long lunches
without having to check my watch to see if my lunch
hour was over.
There were no schedules to follow, no bosses to avoid
or report to, and no subordinates to nanny.
Then, as always happens when I'm on long leave, the
longing set in.
I started to miss my colleagues; I missed dressing up
each morning and setting off for work looking and
feeling 'professional'; I missed being needed; I
missed the sense of having a purpose in my life; I
missed the bustle of the office; I missed the lunches,
the shared food, the jokes and the gossip, the
community of the workplace; I actually missed my
cubicle life.
People are investing such long hours at work that we
can't help but measure our self-worth by what happens
there. So much of how good we feel about ourselves
hinges on how well our careers are going.
It is the reason promotion and bonus season in the
office is so dreaded. It has the ability to make us
giddy with happiness or downright depressed. Rightly
or wrongly, we define ourselves by the promotional
increments and bonuses we get, or don't.
I've a friend who knows this only too well. Six months
ago, he decided to quit his job because he felt he
wasn't being recognised for the long hours and hard
work he was putting in.
It felt good, the first two months. He slept in,
played computer games and did some serious clubbing.
He deserved a break.
But when he finally decided it was time to get another
job, it wasn't easy. The economy had gone south by
then. Month after month went by without a job offer,
and desperation has since set in.
The inability to find a job takes a toll on a person's
mental and physical health, and it is a far worse toll
than the one you suffer when you have a job and are
overworked.
Besides self-esteem, much of the pain one has to bear
when jobless has to do with the more mundane issue of
money.
The colleague who is planning to work part-time has
this cautionary tale.
She recently withdrew $1,000 before setting off for a
designer sale. As $1,000 is the daily withdrawal limit
for ATMs, she asked her husband if he would need to
take out cash that day too.
'When he found out what I was planning to use the
money for, his eyes popped and I quickly reassured
him: 'Of course I'm not going to spend everything.
It's just in case,' ' she said.
After he recovered, he told her, half-jokingly: 'It's
okay. Anyway, you're still working now.'
While she knows he wasn't really serious, it hit her
then that she'd have to start watching her spending
very carefully after she loses her full-time benefits.
'No more impulse buys accompanied by the comforting
thought that I darn well deserve this treat after
slogging so hard,' she said wistfully.
'I think it's the financial independence that I'm
going to miss the most.'
I've been in the workforce since I graduated in 1985,
working in the same company doing the same job. That's
23 years.
Save for annual three-week vacation stretches and the
occasional long weekend holiday, I have never not
worked.
I'm not complaining. In fact I think I'm lucky.
Even before I started work and, in those days when it
was not usual for teenagers to take on internships or
part-time jobs, I really wanted to work. I did
modelling jobs which made me a princely sum of $3,500.
I love working, and I especially love the freedom that
comes with earning my own keep.
I was thrilled to pay my first income tax because it
was proof of my independence and proof that I had the
ability to look after myself. While I no longer look
at my tax assessment letter with any fondness, I still
regard it with some pride.
And I love working within an office structure. I like
the hierarchy and I like the predictability of a
regular work day. The dependable income, paid health
care, vacations and training don't hurt either.
I know I will never get rich being an office drone but
it doesn't matter.
Perhaps it has to do with how my father had his own
business which he operated from home, occasionally
with the help of a secretary.
I always felt being a one-man show was a dreadfully
hard and lonely way to make a living. The cyclical ups
and downs of entrepreneurship are not for me, even if
chances of striking it big are bigger than if you were
a mere employee.
I'm not a workaholic but I veer towards the view that
one should live to work rather than work to live.
Maybe it's because I have no family of my own and few
interests outside of work. I do also realise that it
can be a problem if work forms the entire ecosystem of
my happiness.
But what I've also learnt is that while people - both
inside the office and outside - can let you down and
will do so, solid hard work can't and won't.
There's nothing more satisfying than rolling up your
sleeves, putting in an honest day's work and seeing
the results.
There are those who point out that no one in his right
mind would say on his death bed that he wished he had
spent more time at the office.
I disagree for, to me, the office is where so much of
what matters in life emanates.
Call me a fool, perhaps. But at least I'm a fool who
likes hard work.
sumiko@sph.com.sg
=============
June 29, 2008
Work gives life meaning
Life would be awful if I didn't have to work. Yes, I
live to work rather than work to live
By Sumiko Tan
A friend recently shocked everyone by quitting his
high-flying job to embark on a fresh start in another
industry.
Another friend is thinking of a career switch. He puts
in very high-tempo 15-hour days in the office and
still has to take documents home to read. He's sick of
the frenetic pace.
Next month, a colleague will be giving up her job to
work just three days a week. Her son has turned one
and she wants to be there to see him grow.
Yet another colleague is planning for the day his son
enters Primary 1. Either he or his wife would want to
retire then, to be around to guide the boy. As she
earns more than he does, he might be the one to call
it quits.
Unless you are a student, retiree or housewife, so
much of a person's life centres on that concept called
work - where to work, what sort of work, are you happy
at work, should you work?
The workplace has long become more than just a place
you check into five days a week to fulfil some form of
labour for which you are paid at the end of the month.
A colleague put it aptly: Work is a creche for adults,
providing structure, stimulation and sustenance.
Here is also where you find friendship, companionship
and love even, and you can be guaranteed it's among
like-minded people. After all, you are similar enough
to seek a job in the same area of interest.
So many of my friends found their mates either at the
office or through work.
Who needs dating agencies when you can lock eyes and
check the other person out across the conference
table? Who needs speed dating when there are as many
potential dates to consider as there are cubicles (of
single people, of course) in the office?
When I was on leave recently, the first week stretched
gloriously ahead. I felt free from the endless e-mail,
irritating phone calls and petty politics that are, of
course, also a part of the modern workplace.
Time was mine to fritter away as I hung out with my
family and friends, went shopping and had long lunches
without having to check my watch to see if my lunch
hour was over.
There were no schedules to follow, no bosses to avoid
or report to, and no subordinates to nanny.
Then, as always happens when I'm on long leave, the
longing set in.
I started to miss my colleagues; I missed dressing up
each morning and setting off for work looking and
feeling 'professional'; I missed being needed; I
missed the sense of having a purpose in my life; I
missed the bustle of the office; I missed the lunches,
the shared food, the jokes and the gossip, the
community of the workplace; I actually missed my
cubicle life.
People are investing such long hours at work that we
can't help but measure our self-worth by what happens
there. So much of how good we feel about ourselves
hinges on how well our careers are going.
It is the reason promotion and bonus season in the
office is so dreaded. It has the ability to make us
giddy with happiness or downright depressed. Rightly
or wrongly, we define ourselves by the promotional
increments and bonuses we get, or don't.
I've a friend who knows this only too well. Six months
ago, he decided to quit his job because he felt he
wasn't being recognised for the long hours and hard
work he was putting in.
It felt good, the first two months. He slept in,
played computer games and did some serious clubbing.
He deserved a break.
But when he finally decided it was time to get another
job, it wasn't easy. The economy had gone south by
then. Month after month went by without a job offer,
and desperation has since set in.
The inability to find a job takes a toll on a person's
mental and physical health, and it is a far worse toll
than the one you suffer when you have a job and are
overworked.
Besides self-esteem, much of the pain one has to bear
when jobless has to do with the more mundane issue of
money.
The colleague who is planning to work part-time has
this cautionary tale.
She recently withdrew $1,000 before setting off for a
designer sale. As $1,000 is the daily withdrawal limit
for ATMs, she asked her husband if he would need to
take out cash that day too.
'When he found out what I was planning to use the
money for, his eyes popped and I quickly reassured
him: 'Of course I'm not going to spend everything.
It's just in case,' ' she said.
After he recovered, he told her, half-jokingly: 'It's
okay. Anyway, you're still working now.'
While she knows he wasn't really serious, it hit her
then that she'd have to start watching her spending
very carefully after she loses her full-time benefits.
'No more impulse buys accompanied by the comforting
thought that I darn well deserve this treat after
slogging so hard,' she said wistfully.
'I think it's the financial independence that I'm
going to miss the most.'
I've been in the workforce since I graduated in 1985,
working in the same company doing the same job. That's
23 years.
Save for annual three-week vacation stretches and the
occasional long weekend holiday, I have never not
worked.
I'm not complaining. In fact I think I'm lucky.
Even before I started work and, in those days when it
was not usual for teenagers to take on internships or
part-time jobs, I really wanted to work. I did
modelling jobs which made me a princely sum of $3,500.
I love working, and I especially love the freedom that
comes with earning my own keep.
I was thrilled to pay my first income tax because it
was proof of my independence and proof that I had the
ability to look after myself. While I no longer look
at my tax assessment letter with any fondness, I still
regard it with some pride.
And I love working within an office structure. I like
the hierarchy and I like the predictability of a
regular work day. The dependable income, paid health
care, vacations and training don't hurt either.
I know I will never get rich being an office drone but
it doesn't matter.
Perhaps it has to do with how my father had his own
business which he operated from home, occasionally
with the help of a secretary.
I always felt being a one-man show was a dreadfully
hard and lonely way to make a living. The cyclical ups
and downs of entrepreneurship are not for me, even if
chances of striking it big are bigger than if you were
a mere employee.
I'm not a workaholic but I veer towards the view that
one should live to work rather than work to live.
Maybe it's because I have no family of my own and few
interests outside of work. I do also realise that it
can be a problem if work forms the entire ecosystem of
my happiness.
But what I've also learnt is that while people - both
inside the office and outside - can let you down and
will do so, solid hard work can't and won't.
There's nothing more satisfying than rolling up your
sleeves, putting in an honest day's work and seeing
the results.
There are those who point out that no one in his right
mind would say on his death bed that he wished he had
spent more time at the office.
I disagree for, to me, the office is where so much of
what matters in life emanates.
Call me a fool, perhaps. But at least I'm a fool who
likes hard work.
sumiko@sph.com.sg
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Return of the 70's Weirdo
Interesting to see how the original Microsoft team, snapped Dec. 7, 1978, on the eve of the company's move from Albuquerque, N.M., to Seattle and 30 years later, we see the team coming together again just before BG departure from Microsoft.
Full Article http://www.newsweek.com/id/142636
Monday, May 26, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Some great snapshots at the Summit...I'm missing it
Isn't it amazing to see how pictures can capture those beautiful and memorable moments for everyone? Yes...the picture tells all..
Oops, the community did it again!
Driven by a swell of passion and commitment for the community, the Singapore MVPs and User Group helpers have rendered tireless support to make the Heroes Community Launch a huge success. Their passion, motivation and spirit to stay closely connected to the communities and to bring to the attendees interesting topics of the products were not undermined as this noteworthy endeavor garnered the participation of more than 190 attendees who eagerly thronged into the Microsoft Singapore office on a Saturday morning.
Kudos to all the Heroes behind the scenes! This community launch wouldn't be a success without you folks.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Heroes Community Launch coming to town!
The Heroes are coming to town! Yes, this coming 17th May, the Fantastic Four (not the superheroes), but the 4 User groups in Singapore are joining forces to bring to all the most awaited and exciting topics you have been waiting to see, feel and hear!
Check out the Heroes Community Launch site for more interesting details. Don't wait, make a date with us now!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Right and Left
This is funny. Thanks Philip for sharing!
A doctor took a scan of George W. Bush's brain and came to thefollowing conclusion :
1) His brain has two parts, RIGHT and LEFT.
2) In the LEFT part, there is nothing RIGHT.
3) And in the RIGHT part, there is nothing LEFT.
A doctor took a scan of George W. Bush's brain and came to thefollowing conclusion :
1) His brain has two parts, RIGHT and LEFT.
2) In the LEFT part, there is nothing RIGHT.
3) And in the RIGHT part, there is nothing LEFT.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
When Grandma goes to Court.
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me? '
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me? '
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
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